Yesterday I decided to get rid of cable. I called over to Big Cable Company, Inc. and told the person on the other end of the phone. There was an audible gasp. “But you have the lowest level of service for your area! It costs you a low, low price of less than $20 a month”! And then it began…that tango that is inevitable when trying to work with a big company.
You don’t watch any television at all?
Not at all? Not even a teensy bit? You can get public television and local access! You have Fox Sports!
I can listen to the radio or use my computer. I don’t need to watch reruns of the high school symphony’s latest concert. And I can use the 20 bucks I save to buy a ticket to a game.
But what do you do with all your spare time?
I’m a librarian. Call me crazy, but I read stuff.
Well, perhaps you would like our phone service! It is the low, low price of less than 20 dollars a month?
Am I not speaking English? Is your connection broken? Please just disconnect my cable…
Okay, the last sentence didn’t go like that, but it may as well have. Anyways, it was taken care of. But then last night I had the strangest dream. In this dream I was watching TV show previews…a morbidly obese woman and her family (who only wear neon colors!) go through a divorce only to discover they want to remarry and start a Vaudville act! Watch this drama of fame, fortune, spandex, and bright clothing! and then there was Watch five ridiculously beautiful women cope with life in modern America. Meet Tish, the gal who makes witty party conversation! Brenda, the smart-aleck attorney… and so on and so on. Basically my brain was taking elements of every reality TV show, sitcom, and drama ever created and smashing them altogether. And the weird part of all this…
I woke up HAPPY about disconnecting it. Someday I’d like TV again, but for now, I’m not using it, and considering my TV options, I’m okay with that! – C